If there's one truism about doing business outside North America and Europe, it is this: People do business with people they like. In most of the world, business and social relationships are interconnected. Until you break bread together, drink together, and spend time together outside of an office, you haven't built enough trust to conduct business together.  
 
This isn't the case in the U.S. Imagine trying to explain to your boss that you didn't accept the lowest bidder because you didn't like the sales rep. Yet, in much of the world, not liking someone is a perfectly acceptable reason for rejecting an offer.  
 
Of course, it's one thing to recognize the importance of building social relationships in foreign countries. But how do you go about it? Here are four guidelines:  
 
1) Follow the physician's motto: "First, do no harm." To an executive trying to build relationships, this means don't offend. Don't violate local taboos.  
 
While this sounds simple, the range of taboos throughout the world makes this difficult. Take this example: Do you agree or disagree with every opinion voiced by your foreign counterpart? It depends upon the location. In much of Asia, harmony is prized above all other social virtues. In Japan, especially, a person who disagrees with the group is ostracized. On the other hand, Australians feel just the opposite. In Australia, the "yes man" is an object of ridicule. Someone who won't voice an opinion isn't respected. As long as you don't come off as "putting on airs," you can sound off all you like Down Under.  
 
Each country has dozens of taboos. How far do you stand apart from a client? How much eye contact is considered polite? How should you dress? There are many ways to offend.  
 
2) Be on time, but operate on their time. In some countries, this means arriving on the dot. In punctuality-obsessed nations such as Germany and the Netherlands, a person who can't be on time isn't trusted. (Their attitude is, if you can't manage your time, how can you manage their account?) But in most countries, time is more fluid. People arrive for appointments late. Sometimes very late. Just as you can offend the Dutch by being late, you will offend the Brazilians by complaining when they're late. And remember, many countries have different standards of punctuality for business and social events. Being relatively on time for business appointments is important in the U.S., but most people arrive at least 15 minutes late to parties.  
 
3) Now that we've brought up parties, it's time to mention how important it is to meet your clients outside the office. Go to their parties. Invite them to your own events. If you drink alcohol, imbibe with your clients. Many cultures have an adage that states: "You don't know a man until you've seen him drunk." But know your limits; you don't want to get out of control. Don't try to match your counterparts drink for drink in countries such as Poland or South Korea, where heavy drinking is routine. (Admittedly, it can be difficult to predetermine the effect of unfamiliar national drinks.)  
 
Such customs often place women at a disadvantage. Few female executives want to go out drinking with a roomful of men. So if you are a woman, or you just don't drink, try to find some other way to spend time with your clients.  
 
There are some cultures -- such as Northern European -- where people keep their business and social lives strictly separate. Yet even in such cultures, where you may never see your clients after hours, you can share a breakfast or lunch.  
 
4) Finally, if gifts are a part of the business culture, give gifts. This doesn't mean you have to bribe people. An inexpensive, well-chosen gift is better than a pricey, inappropriate one. Each gift ties you more closely to the recipient. And not all gifts are material. A personal favor is often better than a gift. In China, for example, business relationships are based on a chain of obligations. When you give someone a gift or do them a favor, they are now indebted to you. Since a foreign education is considered highly desirable, a common favor in China is to help a client's son or daughter get into a U.S. university.  
 
Only when you have established a good social relationship can you expect to do business. But remember: This bond is personal. The relationship is with you, not your company. It's not transferable. When you quit or are assigned elsewhere, your replacement has to build up that bond all over again. The only transferable relationship is one of blood: If your replacement is your blood relative, the bond can sometimes be extended to your replacement. But this is rare in U.S. business circles, so most likely your replacement will have to start from square one.  

Reprinted from IndustryWeek, September 28, 1999