Food Faux Pas

By Terri Morrison
© Copyright 2004, All Rights Reserved

Most mistakes in dining etiquette are minor and easily remedied. Sometimes, however, they can be emblazoned across the media—like President George H.W. Bush's unfortunate breach of protocol when he vomited in the lap of the Japanese Prime Minister. Fortunately, most of us are spared having our cruder moments displayed for public consumption.

But even if our mistakes don’t make the evening news, they are still embarrassing.

For example, while I was at a formal dinner in Paris, I unconsciously placed my left hand in my lap—the polite thing to do in the United States—but wrong in France. The French keep both hands gracefully balanced on the table’s edge, and of course, they hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right. My improper behavior at this very lovely dinner disturbed the gentleman to my left so much that he took hold of my left hand and placed it upon the table. It surprised me, but you can believe I kept my hands where they belonged for the rest of that meal!

How to be a good host
While it can be difficult to remember all the appropriate behaviors when you travel around the world, it can be just as complicated to host visitors from other countries.

Nancy Gilboy, the Executive Director of the International Visitor’s Council in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, constantly hosts delegations from all over the world. Besides observing various food taboos (never serve pork to Muslims, beef to Hindus, etc.), she has noted that certain cultures are careful to ensure that everyone receives an equal share of the meal. When shrimp was being passed around at a dinner with a group from China, she took three or four and offered it to the next diner. Subsequently, she noticed that each attendee took just one shrimp in turn and offered it to the next person. Of course, in their culture, the good of the group is more important than any one person’s appetite, and the Chinese often take a single portion of food at a time.

Good Eats?
Food preferences can also be intrinsically tied to one’s heritage. Ethnic Chinese do not have the enzyme lactase and find it difficult to digest dairy products. And since they did not raise immense herds of cattle or sheep during the last few centuries, they developed a taste for a variety of different meat and fish products, some of which may seem a bit exotic by western sensibilities.

When Ms. D’Arcy Clark, a mining and exploration engineer from the United States, worked in China, she found herself at many banquet tables. Most of the time she was comfortable with the menus (although the live, raw sea slugs were a challenge), but her Waterloo came in the form of a bear claw. This was an actual ursine appendage—not a pastry. When she was offered a toe of the claw, with the toenail intact, she surreptitiously tried to hide it in an ashtray. Unfortunately, the client saw it, extracted the delicacy, looked right at her and ate it—ashes and all!

If your food preferences are constrained by religious, ethical or medical guidelines, of course you must abide by them. But be sure to alert your hosts before they invest in a special, totally unpalatable local delicacy for you. Turning down caviar and champagne in Bulgaria, Romania or Russia can be the equivalent of throwing away a month of your hosts’ wages.

In many parts of the world, people only do business with those they know and trust—and that kind of contact is generally established over lunch or dinner. When international executives visit clients in countries like Brazil or Chile, they often try to get their appointments around 11 a.m., so they can all go to lunch together afterward. They spend time in a convivial environment, where no business is discussed, but friendships and trust are established. Bringing business up too soon (if at all) over a meal in Spain, France or China would never happen in refined company.

However, even the most refined diner on earth can become embroiled in unfortunate circumstances. The Queen of England, who is polite enough to try almost anything, was the center of attention after a visit to Belize. During her visit, the Queen ate a local delicacy, a dibnut—an animal that looks like a large chipmunk. When the English press discovered what the Queen had been served, the headlines ran “Queen Eats Rat!” Fortunately, citizens of Belize have a sense of humor and immediately changed the dish from “dibnut” on their menus to “Royal Rat.”

Whether you’re eating rat or roe, enjoy the ambiance—mimic the local rules of dining etiquette—and try not to heave on your host.

Excerpted from OAG Frequent Flyer, July 9, 2003